"Down in the valley, the valley so low,..."

I have tried not to blog much about Todd being in Texas for fear that I would run off anyone who regularly or randomly reads this, primarily because it would mostly be whining, and who wants to read that all the time?

But, since this is one of the most difficult times in our lives, I feel a need to share it, or at least a part of it. I think it will be good for me. Tomorrow marks the eighth week that Todd has been away from us. That I've been without my best friend. That the girls have been without their daddy. That I've had trouble sleeping because I hear every little sound and because Todd is not in the bed next to me. I'm truly running on fumes, and the tiredness I'm experiencing ranks right up there with taking care of a newborn.

This is a time I'm full of questions and doubts, not about the big things since I know and have seen many times before that God's plan is always the best and is always worth waiting for. I hate waiting. Really. I think that it is probably the hardest thing in the world. To trust in what we can't see ahead, for what we want to happen, especially when we want it to happen sooner rather than later.

Last week at our church we had our Global Impact Celebration. I normally love this time when I get to visit with missionaries and see what they're doing, but to be really honest, I couldn't even make myself go. I think, for one, that I could not have held it together long enough to have a conversation with anyone, and once I break down, it's all over. So, I skipped the stuff I normally go to, but, alas, I was not out of danger. The speaker from the IMB chose to focus his attention on one country Sunday morning. You guessed it, Mozambique. To my friend, Tiffany, who was trying to see if I was holding up, thank you. I'm glad you couldn't see my grief from where you were!

Then, on to Sunday school where we were one of the classes chosen to have a missionary speaker come and tell us about their work. More Africa. This time tears I could not hold back. More loneliness at not being able to have Todd sitting beside me squeezing my hand.

I truly do not know what God's plan is for us, where we'll be down the road. Isn't that kind of stating the obvious? No one does, not really. I pray that by His grace we will still be seeking Him and wanting all that He wants for us. So, if we cross your minds, do you mind praying for us, most especially for a speedy family reunion! Thanks!